Musings on Motherhood

I find it kind of cool that I'm at 23 weeks on September 23rd. Weird coincidences like that make me take notice. I'm not sure that it means anything, but its definitely cool (to me, at least). As I approach the 6 month mark (next Wednesday) and as I watch my ever-expanding belly, my impending motherhood weighs on my mind constantly. How does one know that they will be a good mother? The very thought that I am partially responsible for shaping another human's life is such a huge responsibility, at times I'm afraid and unsure.

Cadence is definitely a mover and a shaker, there are very few times during the day (or night) that he's not moving at least a little bit. For so many years, I've wondered what that sensation must feel like. Now that I know first-hand, I understand why all the pregnant women I've asked were unable to explain it to me. Each movement brings such joy to my heart, makes me giggle and sets a grin on my face. And for the first time the night before last, I was able to see him move underneath my clothes. It still seems foreign, surreal, dream-like. There is a human being growing inside of me, my SON. Wow, its just so incredible, almost beyond my ability to put into words.

In less than a month, we're having the 4D ultrasound done. This will give us the best idea of what he will look like when he's born. I have a feeling that this is going to affect me even more than the last ultrasound did. He'll have a FACE to go with his name. I can't wait to get my first glimpse of him, I know it will make me even more impatient than I already am to hold him.

For the time being, I'm fairly content with feeling him kick and squirm, and watching my belly get bigger and bigger, knowing that he's getting bigger and stronger with each passing day.

Its absolutely beautiful and amazing how so much in love I am with this little person that I've not even met yet. I hope I am able to show him all the love that I have in my heart for him.

And this whole time I've been writing this, he's kicking me. Almost as if he's trying to add his two cents.

I love you, Cadence. Mommy can't wait to meet you and hold you and kiss you and love you forever.

It's raining, it's pouring, it's finally quiet in the library!

Oh, how I love the torrential downpours in Oklahoma. I love driving through flooded streets with only a foot visibility while dodging the idiots around me. However, there is an upside to it. The library is sparsely populated with customers, and it actually SOUNDS like a library. Quiet, the occasional page flip and cough, low conversation. I agreed to work extra hours tonight, and was cursing myself for it on my voyage here. There ARE things I could be doing at home tonight, but this isn't such a horrible alternative. I wonder if I'll even encounter a customer who actually needs my help. The few people that are here seem to already have a purpose. Oh well, good thing for internet games!

Oh, and to the random dude camped out in one of our QUIET study rooms ("quiet" is the operative word here)... even though it is almost deserted in here, yelling "RAPE" during your story to your friend still is highly inappropriate. Idiot.

Post Numero Uno

So, here it is... TA-DA! My first post in my new blog.

*crickets*

It occurred to me the other day that I should start a new blog (or at least get the old one up and running again). I believe it was inspired by me helping a lady at work on the computer, she was trying to edit her blogger page...

Anyway, it seemed like a good idea so here I am. Numerous times in my life I have attempted at keeping a diary or journal of sorts. It works for a little bit, then I lose interest and leave a half-used journal to collect dust in some desk drawer. I'm hoping to avoid that this time, and maybe even keep up better with it, since this is done online. So, we'll see...

Having set up this new blog, I have spent nearly an hour playing with the layout and settings and colors and gadgets... I'm such a nerd.

But,

I'm starting to feel pretty tired, and this chair has reached the maximum uncomfortable point. Guess I should wrap this up for the night.

Before I go, I want to give a shout-out to my little man, Cadence, who is squirming and doing somersaults as I type.











I wish I had a clever sign-off.....