Musings on Motherhood

I find it kind of cool that I'm at 23 weeks on September 23rd. Weird coincidences like that make me take notice. I'm not sure that it means anything, but its definitely cool (to me, at least). As I approach the 6 month mark (next Wednesday) and as I watch my ever-expanding belly, my impending motherhood weighs on my mind constantly. How does one know that they will be a good mother? The very thought that I am partially responsible for shaping another human's life is such a huge responsibility, at times I'm afraid and unsure.

Cadence is definitely a mover and a shaker, there are very few times during the day (or night) that he's not moving at least a little bit. For so many years, I've wondered what that sensation must feel like. Now that I know first-hand, I understand why all the pregnant women I've asked were unable to explain it to me. Each movement brings such joy to my heart, makes me giggle and sets a grin on my face. And for the first time the night before last, I was able to see him move underneath my clothes. It still seems foreign, surreal, dream-like. There is a human being growing inside of me, my SON. Wow, its just so incredible, almost beyond my ability to put into words.

In less than a month, we're having the 4D ultrasound done. This will give us the best idea of what he will look like when he's born. I have a feeling that this is going to affect me even more than the last ultrasound did. He'll have a FACE to go with his name. I can't wait to get my first glimpse of him, I know it will make me even more impatient than I already am to hold him.

For the time being, I'm fairly content with feeling him kick and squirm, and watching my belly get bigger and bigger, knowing that he's getting bigger and stronger with each passing day.

Its absolutely beautiful and amazing how so much in love I am with this little person that I've not even met yet. I hope I am able to show him all the love that I have in my heart for him.

And this whole time I've been writing this, he's kicking me. Almost as if he's trying to add his two cents.

I love you, Cadence. Mommy can't wait to meet you and hold you and kiss you and love you forever.