Disappearing Reappearance

Wow, I'm just really bad at this whole blogging thing. I start a blog, full of excitement and ideas and motivation and then WHAMMO! Those things are gone and it takes it's place among so many other unfinished projects. Makes me wonder, am I even capable of finishing things that I begin? I know I can finish tasks at work, otherwise I don't believe that I would still be employed otherwise. But when it comes to only being accountable to myself for the completion of these tasks, it's a rare thing that something I start out doing gets finished. Even now, as I type this, I can't even remember why I started writing this post in the first place. I'm now thinking that maybe I'm making it too hard, trying to make it into something it doesn't have to be. I can simply get on here and just type whatever craziness my brain is overloading me with at the moment.

So, there it is. I want to start blogging again. I am aware that this is something that I've said and done in the past only to find myself digging it back up again after an extended silence.

I think I remember now what I kinda wanted to discuss in today's blog, but got distracted and derailed myself. I dug out some old pictures last night looking for a particular set and was immediately overwhelmed by the memories and pain that this box of pictures conjured up. Will I ever get over it all? I don't regret the things that I've done and am very happy with my life right now. I've taken responsibility for and made my peace with the mistakes that I've made. And I am eternally sorry for any hurt that I have caused anyone. All I ever wanted for anyone was peace and happiness and all the best in life. I have all these pictures, all these memories, all these years... just... gone and worthless now. Part of me says to just get rid of them all, but part of me would like to hope that maybe someday I can look at them and appreciate that they're just part of the story.

OK, I guess I've rambled long enough for now. I plan to make this my dumping ground, soapbox, whatever you call it.

This is my house and I make the rules.